


It'll Be Okay, Love

by laadychat



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03 Chat Blanc, F/M, Gen, Identity Reveal, Reveal, but sadrien, fluff ending maybe?, metion of ptsd, plz don't quote me on that, pretty much angst, sadmari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laadychat/pseuds/laadychat
Summary: Chat Blanc was by far, the worst akuma Marinette had to face. Her partner, seeing him in that pristine white outfit, blue eye color- there was no way she wasn't going to get nightmares from it.And it was just time before she crumbled.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 5
Kudos: 342





	It'll Be Okay, Love

**Author's Note:**

> tbh, the whole Chat Blanc episode still has me reeling. You can't tell me she fought him and doesn't have any trauma from it. I feel like maybe it'll be so haunting, she'll confess everything to Chat. This is my thoughts on how it'll go! Thanks, in advance, for reading!

Once again, she laid there, staring blankly at her ceiling. It's been happening more frequently - this. The long nights where sleep eluded her, where her thoughts wondered. Wondered to _there._

She tried everything - sleeping aids, meditation, tea, but nothing, _nothing_ was working. She was still there, still very much awake, and still _thinking._

Tikki was already fast asleep, curled up right next to her head so she tried to remain still. Just so that at least one of them was resting up. She knows she'll feel terrible in the morning but every time she closed her eyes, the sight of _him_ was _there._ Not the green eyes she finds so much warmth and comfort in-

The icy blue ones with so much despair and anguish, the boy _so_ , so desperate to fix what was destroyed. What _he_ destroyed. How could she sleep knowing in some other alternative reality, she was behind the cause of such destruction?

She will never forget the way he said, the way he _spoke,_ with such anger when he told her-

When he told her that their _love_ caused it. Their _love_ is why the city she loves so much was gone, why _she_ was gone. And she doesn't even know _how_.

Just that somehow, someway, having her name on that, _that stupid present_ , somehow caused Chat Noir to get _akumatized._

 _How_ could she sleep knowing that somehow, when she finally was able to actually put her name on a present, it caused all of _that._ She looked around her room, at her bare walls. Just staring at the model boy's smile earlier just reminded her of what did- _could_ have happened, if she just _told_ him how she felt. And she couldn't do it anymore. She knows Tikki was staring at her, confused and wary, as she tore everything down in a frenzy. She doesn't even know where all the pictures went, they just had- _needed_ to be _gone._

She tried to think of all the hows. How did Adrien react to her present? How did he react knowing Marinette felt that way towards him? 

How did _Chat Noir_ know her _name?_

That stupid, _stupid,_ present had somehow caused her partner to know her _name._ Which means Adrien had told someone.

Who told someone, who told someone, _who told someone, who told some-_

Who told Chat Noir.

And she will never forget those eyes devoid of their usual warmth.

Blinking back the gathering tears, she sighed and got up. If she couldn't sleep, what was the point of laying in bed?

Just so that those awful, awful memories sweep her off her feet and drag her towards the angry waves of torment, drowning her in all of the _what ifs?_

What if she _didn't_ give Adrien the present?

What if she gave it to him the next day at school?

What if she didn't let the girls convince her to try again?

What if?

_What if?_

Just maybe then, _maybe_ she could have prevented her dear partner from being all alone in a world so cold.

 _Designing_.

She needs to design, to get her head out of where it's currently headed, to not think about those blue, blue eyes- think about something else.

 _Think about something else_.

With one swing of her legs, she jumped out of bed and dashed towards her desk, desperate to just do something. 

And so she sat and started to draw.

And kept drawing.

Until the tears were no more.

-

There haven't been an akuma since, since the one 

But it wouldn't have been much different if there were. At least Marinette would have something to distract her. At least she'd be able to know if her partner was okay.

It's been two weeks since she last saw him. He haven't been able to come to patrol the last few times because of civilian obligations and Marinette understood this.

But it didn't help stop fear from clutching her heart so tightly, she could hardly breathe at night. She just needed to see him so desperately, just to make sure his eyes are still those vibrant, beautiful green eyes.

_To make sure he's okay._

Tikki tried so hard to cheer her up and Marinette appreciated that but Tikki wasn't her partner. She needed _him_.

She didn't normal go out as her hero self unless absolutely necessary but she thoughts won't stop, the words won't stop, _the images._

So she transformed and leaped out of her room, desperately to run away from her mind, from another sleepless night.

But then she heard it. 

A melody so engraved in her, it haunted her every waking moment. 

Fear gripped her, rooting her in place. Her eyes followed the sound, her breath hitching as she saw him.

Sitting there, facing away from her.

Just like he did then.

" _Little kitty on a roof._ "

_No... no, no, no, n-_

_"All alone-"_

_Not again. Please, n-_

_"Without his lady."_

Her partner was there, all alone, by himself and did it happen again? Was he-?

"Ladybug?"

She couldn't do this anymore, couldn't bare to look at him in case his hair wasn't blonde anymore.

Is this what had happened? Had her partner avoided her after finding out she was just ordinary clumsy ol' Marinette? Was it something she did that caused him to leave, to change, t-

_Was it all her fault?_

Hands gripped her shoulder and she jerked, now looking at the eyes of her friend. "Ladybug?"

His hair... wasn't white. His eyes weren't blue, everything was all just-

"Ladybug, please breath with me. In and out," she could hear him but the relief that burned through her was too loud to pay attention to what he might be seeing. 

Because he's here, in front of her, and in black.

"Chat," she croaked out, hands reaching out to place her palm against his cheeks. "Oh my sweet kitty."

He looked so confused and Ladybug was has just so, so happy was okay.

_I have to tell him._

"What's going on? Did someone hurt you?"

She can hear the hysteria in his voice and decides to step back. Looking down, she took in a breath.

And told him. Everything she could remember, because this was her partner. And she trusts him.

More than she even trusts _herself_.

"You knew my name, Chat," she muttered, her hands reaching for his. _They're still black_.

"It was our love, m'lady?"

She nodded, a sad smile on her lips. "And I don't know how, but writing my name on that present started it all, kitty."

"Present?"

"The present I made for Adrien Agreste."

"You made that?"

"But I told him it was from a fan. Not the first time it has happened."

She shrugged and pulled him even closer, just needing the extra reassurance that was there, they were there, and _together_.

Looking up at those eyes she's come to love, she raised her eyebrows at the confusion that clouded his eyes.

"M'lady... I might have an idea... on why giving that present to Adrien would cause me to be akumatized."

_What?_

She blinked and pulled back a bit, not believing the words that slipped through his lips. Because she's tried to think of everything possible as to why the two events even connected. But her partner knew?

And he looked at her, with such a sad expression and it hit her with such clarity _why_.

Because why else would Adrien knowing her identity cause that terrible nightmare?

Because Adrien wouldn't have told anyone.

If he was Chat Noir.

"No wonder you knew my name," she whispered, unable to look at him in the eye. Unable to look at the person whom she trusts so much, and the boy she loves with all her heart. 

"Yeah," he whispered, resting his chin on her head as she pulled him tight against her. "There's also one person I ever thought was you, bug. And I'm praying I'm right."

She couldn't help but snort. "And if you are?"

"I'd be the happiest cat in the world."

She sighed, burning herself deeper into his arms, his warmth chasing away the bitter cold that seem to linger within her. What was the chances that her crush was her partner? 

What were the odds he would guess correctly?

"Who do you think I am, kitty cat?"

He grinned, eyes so soft and filled with such warmth, she knew that he knew. _He knew her._

"Marinette," he muttered next to her ear, hand gripping her hand tightly. "Dupain-Cheng."

-  
She still wakes up from nightmares but usually, the warm body next to her reminds her she's no longer alone.

And maybe this was the reason he was akumatized - _they knew each other's identity._

But since Bunnyix never came back, then just maybe _, maybe_ she did something right.


End file.
